It may be a simple question, but the answer has far-reaching effects in your life. If you don’t think you can do something, it’s very likely you won’t even try. You won’t put the time, effort or energy into it because, after all, it would be a waste, right? And who has time, effort or energy to waste these days?

On the other hand, if you think you can do something, you’re probably more than willing to invest the time, effort and energy into it because you’re pretty sure you’ll get the result you’re after.

So what makes the difference between thinking you can’t and thinking you can do something? For most of us, it’s proof. Proof in the form of results, past results, most likely. Where does that leave you if you’re looking at trying something completely new? Empty-handed? Not necessarily.

Just because you’ve never done a particular thing before does not mean you lack proof of your ability. All you have to do is rewind back to the last time you had to do something you thought you couldn’t do, but did. Guess what? There’s your proof. We each have things in our past that we thought for sure were going to ‘eat our lunch’, but didn’t.

There was a time in my life that I thought there was NO WAY I’d be able to earn a living from home without a job. I have three kids, a mortgage and a car payment, for crying out loud, plus I’m single with no other income to rely on! Well, guess what I’ve been doing since December of 2002?

Maybe for you it’s your managing your website or blog, or writing effective marketing copy, or picking up the phone and reaching out to a prospective new client, or any number of other things that loom over you.

Matters not. You’ve got proof. And the really good news is that “proof” from one area of your life transfers over to any other area of your life, because the proof is really about all the times – in any situation or context – that you did something you didn’t think you could do.

What can you change your mind about today and think you can, instead?

It’s certainly a gross understatement to say relationships are complicated. Who we are and how we act are influenced by so many things seen and unseen, and the same is true for everyone else. Relating to others can feel like walking through a mine field. One misstep and boom! – something unexpected blows up in your face.

We are responsible for the messages we send, but we are not necessarily responsible for how the message is received, particularly given how many ways and reasons there are for a message to be misconstrued. But in being responsible for the messages we send, we can’t turn a blind eye to the likely perceptions of others. And certainly, our words are not the only vehicle by which we send messages. We are responsible for all of the messages we send.

Are you skewing the messages you send verbally with behavior that says the opposite? Do your words say one thing while your actions say another?

Try stepping outside your own skin and seeing yourself through the eyes of others. Is the message you send the message you intend?

photo credit: pdxjeff

What is the purpose of a lighthouse? Webster says a lighthouse is:

a structure (as a tower) with a powerful light that gives a continuous or intermittent signal to navigators.

According to Wikipedia:

Lighthouses are often interpreted in dreams as beacons of truth.

In my business, my “job” is to be a lighthouse, as opposed to being a search light. My job is not to chase after the folks who need my services, but rather to be that powerful light that gives them a sense of security in the world of entrepreneurship. I like the idea of being there to guide them and navigate unknown waters.

Again, I defer to my favorite quote:

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?”

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson, from her book, A Return to Love

The idea of being a lighthouse is certainly not limited to business. We can be lighthouses in all areas of our lives.

What makes our light shine brighter and brighter is learning who we really are and living that in this life. Living in the present moment makes our lights stronger, too. Being authentic (not the same as one another, but true to who we each are, individually) and fearless about shining our light is the best contribution we can make, in my opinion.

Sometimes you find yourself stuck, not knowing what to do next or which way to go. You can analyze and research, play ‘what if’ until you’re blue in the face, but sometimes the answer just doesn’t come. So what do you do? How do you decide?

As my dad has always told me, “Just pick one and look at the rest.”

At first glance, this might appear to be merely the advice of an exasperated dad, but the more frequently I’ve followed this advice, the more value I find in it.

Sometimes the only thing required to get unstuck is action, any action. Not everything about our world is linear. Not everything can be traced back to a logical cause and effect. Sometimes, all we need to find our answer is to step – in any direction – off of dead center. Movement is the antidote to being stuck. Action is the answer, more often than not.

Where I believe we get hung up is in our requirement to ‘get it right the first time’. When you think about it, doesn’t that seem an inordinately ridiculous goal? Doesn’t it just suck the wind right out of your sails to think about having to do something ‘right’ in order to do it at all? Is it any wonder, then, that we can feel so stuck?

Will the world stop spinning if you make a mistake? Will the sky come crashing down if you don’t do it ‘right’ the first time? Better yet – what if the action you take, the one that doesn’t really ever pan out, is the action that was required to get you to the next decision – the one that REALLY makes a difference in your life? Doesn’t it make sense then, when all of the available choices appear to be equally insufficient, to pick one and look at the rest to get unstuck?