photo credit: meemal

Not a particularly “sexy” topic, I grant you, but no one among us is immune to adversity. Being in business for yourself – by yourself, as many of us are – leaves you a bit more vulnerable, a bit more exposed, maybe a little more quickly overwhelmed, and quite possibly a lot more prone to indulging in the freak-out dance when adversity shows its face. Going to the balcony to get a little space and practice detachment is your best preventative and also your first line of defense.

Today I want to share some observations and realizations I’ve made this year from my own balcony and I invite you to chime in with your own in the comments below.

1: “I get by with a little help from my friends.”

I can’t stress enough the importance of building a support system for yourself. No successful person ever got that way alone.

I have my assistant, Tracy, who not only helps me with the workload, but she is my biggest cheerleader and reality check. In other words, she keeps me on an even keel. I have Tony, Tom, Karen, Lisa, Deborah and Pam – all people I’ve met through my business whose services I use personally. I have Marty in my corner, too. We are working on some projects together, both of us realizing the advantages of partnering up – sharing the work, the angst and the rewards.

Each of these people (and many others) have challenged and supported me when I needed it most. While it’s the rubber of MY sneakers that meets the road to my success, any success I enjoy has all these people’s footprints all over it, too.

2: Crap is the Great Clarifier

Looking back over 2009, I’ve taken some fairly big kicks in the pants, both personally and in my business. Each of my kids have presented me with multiple, big, life-changing situations or events to navigate, some of which are on-going. You know – the kind of crap we parents dread, that make us wonder why we had kids in the first place, make us question our ability to cope, and leave us fantasizing about running away from home our-damned-selves. To add to the fray, the year has been peppered with some really wrong people showing up as clients, one of whom filed the very first complaint against my business to the Better Business Bureau (that’ll knock you on your butt, let me assure you), and all contributed to the chronic stress and general joy-sucking that goes hand in hand with working with the wrong people.

The good news is you are the creator of your life and business. When crap shows up, you can treat it as the opportunity that it is to get really clear, to make changes based on what you do want, instead of giving in to its drama and giving up. Easier said than done, maybe – but that’s another reason to continually be building your support network – you don’t have to do it alone.

3: The Stronger Your “Whys”, the Better Your Odds

Let’s face it – when things get tough, what gets us through to the other side are our motivators – our “whys”. Sometimes we feel those motivators as the heat on our hind ends, pushing us forward. (The things we don’t want, the things we want to avoid.) Other times, our motivators are those carrots dangling in front of us, pulling us forward. (The things we do want, the things we want more of.) The clearer you are about your “whys” and the more they mean to you, the more stick-to-it-ive-ness you have. The more committed you are, the more willing you’ll be to hang in there and find the solutions you need to move ahead.

This is why it’s so important to do the inner work – the get your head straight and personal growth work – of growing a business. And it never ends, folks. Change is our only constant, remember, so this work is never actually done.

4: Investing in Yourself is More Than Buying the Latest, Greatest Training or Information Product

If whipping out the ol’ credit card was all that was required to succeed, I’d be a billionnaire by now. Investing in myself requires more than money – it requires time, attention and commitment. I actually have to read the e-book, login to the membership site, watch the video. Then I have to apply what I’ve learned to my own situation and adjust from there.

Doesn’t seem like it ought to be such a “V-8″ moment, does it? But, it is, and this one, in particular, seems to repeat itself, at least for me. I’m not any smarter, more capable or successful just because I paid money to add yet another download to my hard drive.

More information is not always (or even most often) the answer. Informed action usually is. Particularly when facing adversity.

5: You Have to Risk Being Wrong to Get it Right

The process of getting from where I am to where I want to be will take forever if I wait until I know everything I think I need to know to get it “right”. Every time I’ve been knocked on my butt, I’ve learned really valuable lessons. I sure didn’t set out to get knocked down, but sometimes it happens.

Adversity has a way of showing you what you’re made of, and I’ve surprised myself this year. I’m a lot stronger than I knew. I’m a lot more willing to take risks, too, because I’m a lot more confident that being wrong isn’t the worst thing in the world. Being stuck is.

What observations and/or realizations have your trips to the balcony given you?