How many times have you caught yourself saying or thinking, “I can’t help it. That’s just the way I am.” Probably a lot, right?

On the one hand, it’s good to know ourselves well. Really good. But on the other hand, too often we let “that’s just the way I am” become an excuse for not living the life of our dreams.

One of the things I began to notice when I started out on my path of self-discovery was how many of the ideas I have about who I am came from someone other than me! And the amazing thing is, it’s true for all of us, to one degree or another. And it starts EARLY in life. First our parents, our siblings, our extended families tell us about who we are. Then, when we get to school, our teachers and friends tell us about who we are. Add to that all the messages we receive from the media and society, in general, and we’ve got a whole hodgepodge of conflicting ideas about who we are to sort through.

Maybe a good bonk on the head resulting in a little temporary amnesia would help? Would not knowing anything about who you are be worse than knowing so much, especially when so much of what you think you know about yourself came from outside of you? I don’t think so. In fact, I think it would be quite helpful. Minus the bonk on the head, of course. But maybe a pretend one would do the trick.

Let’s give it a try, shall we?

Ok, imagine you’ve been bonked on the head. Something rang your bell really well, and now you’re awake with no idea who you are. (Notice there’s no goose egg with a pretend bonk. Cool, huh? No requirement for pain meds. Yay! So, since it won’t hurt, go ahead and do it.)

Your mind, the curious creature that it is, almost immediately starts asking questions. Now, here’s the cool part - since you don’t REALLY have amnesia, you can start answering those questions. But with each answer, stop a minute and ask yourself where that answer came from. Is it your answer or someone else’s answer you’ve adopted as your own?

To help you tell the difference, ask yourself, “Why?” Or, “Who says so?” Or, “How do you know?” In other words, poke at the answer. Don’t just accept it at face value. Ask for proof. Look at the evidence. Ask yourself, “Do I agree with that answer? Why? Why not?”

Remember, there’s no judgment in this exercise. You’re simply on a fact-finding mission.

You might find that you can, in fact, “help it” on some things and that “it’s just the way I am” is not quite as firmly cemented as you thought.

You are special. There’s no one just like you, and you have so much to offer! Sometimes the only thing standing in the way of you living the life you really want to live is you, and giving yourself a case of pretend amnesia can help you see where that’s the case.