To some, “Do you know what you want?” may seem a silly question. Like, who doesn’t know what they want?

Well, actually, a LOT of people don’t know what they want. Granted, most people are able to make preference choices, meaning they can choose one thing over another when presented with the choice, but to just declare out of thin air, without a frame of reference, what they want - period - well, that is too overwhelming.

I was one of those people who found it hard to answer, “What do you want?” I could go off on a long, long tangent telling you why I think I was that way, but suffice it to say I had spent much too much of my life feeling like I was not worthy. Worthy of what? Much of anything, sadly enough. Live your life like that long enough, and it becomes inordinately difficult to state your preferences, much less dream.

If you find you have a hard time defining what you want for your life, mentally get into this picture.

This is the 30,000ft view. I took this picture in the summer of 2006 on a plane to Salt Lake City. I remember feeling so detached from all the stress and strain of daily living looking out over the tops of the clouds like that. I took the picture, not because I haven’t been above the clouds before, but because I knew I would want a visual reminder of that detached feeling. Anytime I need to get a clear head really quick, I use this picture to help me recapture that peaceful, detached feeling.

Instead of trying to answer, “Do you know what you want?” in general, I find it helpful to consider segments of my life individually. Here are the segments I use:

• Home/Family
• Relationships
• Career
• Health
• Adventure
• Contribution
• Spirituality

For each of these segments, list 2-3 things you would be, do or have if you were living the life you REALLY want to live. If it helps you, complete this sentence 2-3 times for each segment:

In the life I REALLY want to live, I am _________________.

Don’t confuse this as a goal setting exercise. That’s not what this is. This is about feeling how it feels to live the life you REALLY want to live, since we experience our passions through our feelings.

For example, in the life I REALLY want to live, I am living peacefully is a passion, whereas in the life I REALLY want to live, I am creating peace in the world is a goal. Passions are how you live your life, goals are things you achieve.

Remember, this is your list - no one else’s and it’s the life you REALLY want to live, not the life you think is possible, so don’t worry about the how right now. No editing or scaling back. Dream BIG. Write down what would make you just tingle all over, ok?

And feel free to share your thoughts/ideas/lists in the comments below.