In 2006, my life completely changed, inside and out. The changes on the inside have been brewing for some time, but as I’ve come to believe, thoughts really ARE creative, and the changes on the outside are reflections/creations of the changes within.

Friday, May 26th, (my daughter’s 7th birthday, by the way) at 4:30am, I woke to my partner of 8 years yelling at me, “Get up! Get out of the house - it’s on fire! ” He had already gotten our daughter out of the house, and had come back in for my son and me. We lost everything, but we were all safe and unhurt, sitting in the pre-dawn light staring at the house in disbelief.

In moments like that, where you have seen a glimpse of the end of your life and survived it, what is truly important becomes crystal clear, and some truths become quite obnoxious.

I knew instantly that I didn’t care one bit about anything lost in the fire. What was truly important to me survived without a scratch. I was also certain that I could no longer live the life I had been living for the years since my partner and I met.

With knowledge comes responsibility.

Here I sit, months later, finally at terms with my decisions and resolved to weather the fallout and begin to live MY life. Mid-life crisis? Possibly. Fatigue and overwhelming loneliness? Probably so, and will probably get worse before it’s all over. But sometimes you have to be brave enough to save yourself, even when it feels like you’re abandoning someone less capable in the process.

The obnoxious truth of my life to date is that I have been playing small in an attempt to make others feel more comfortable with themselves and their lives. In the end, this serves no one, least of all, me.

So, my house fire burned away more than my home and my ’stuff’. Emotionally, it burned away the desire to hide my light just to fit in. My house has been rebuilt and along with it, I have begun recreating my life according to my own dreams and desires, not the expectations of others.

It’s hard to go against the flow, to change your direction against the undertow of expectations you’ve taught others to have about you, but when the truth becomes obnoxious and keeps you awake at night, you know it’s time to make a move. Somehow, the strength required shows up when you take that first step in faith. And, if you’re at peace with the idea of making a mistake or two, life can become quite a breathless adventure where curiosity, play and joy abound.

If you resonate with what I’ve shared here, and would like to create positive change in your life with the help of someone who’s been in your shoes, I would like to offer you a complimentary coaching session to get you started.

Warmly,
Suzanne