They say time heals all wounds, but I disagree. I know too many people still hung up on the past and miserable for that to be true. I think what heals the wounds is letting go of wishing things had turned out differently and accepting what is.

So how do you let go of wishing things had turned out differently? How do you accept what is? The only way I know of is to immerse yourself in the present moment and stop living elsewhere in your mind.

By ‘living elsewhere in your mind’ I mean focusing on the past or the future - thinking about anything but this moment.

Let’s take relationships, for example. After a break-up, almost all of the emotional pain you suffer stems from living in the past (and wishing you were still together or going over and over how you were hurt) or living in the future (and imagining it without someone to love and love you back.) But if you can keep your head out of both of those places and put your focus and attention on the present moment, life improves drastically. Whatever you find you must deal with in the present moment can be dealt with by taking action or accepting what is.

For me, the wounds created by broken relationships have always been healed by letting go of them emotionally, and by forgiving the other person and taking the position that we all are doing the best we can with the information we’ve got in every moment.

The mere passage of time is not the key. In fact, you can choose to hold on tighter to those old hurts and resentments, making them more and more a part of who you think you are, leaving you more and more miserable with each passing day. Or you can let go and accept what is. So it’s not time that heals, it’s where you spend your time. Spend it in the present moment, where your life is actually taking place.