Work/Life Balance – It’s All Relative
I just finished reading Tim Brownson’s post, Work/Life Bullshit, and began to leave a comment. When I realized that I had a full-blown blog post on my hands, I thought I’d bring it over here so some of you could get in on the conversation, should you care to.
I, like Tim and many others, do what I do because I love it. While I’m lucky enough to create my income doing what I love, I do still ‘have’ to do it.
Ok, that’s a lie, too. I don’t ‘have’ to do it, but I choose to because the consequences of choosing not to are not attractive to me. (I’ve grown accustomed to my home, my car, among other things and Lord knows I’m not trying to live without my computer and Internet service!)
However, I think you made a very good point, Tim, when you said that when employers are yapping about work/life balance, most of the time it’s because they don’t want you to have any. I agree. But I think the bigger point is when you find yourself worrying about work/life balance, that means it’s already out of whack…like noticing you’re thirsty means you should have had a drink hours ago.
I think there are as many ways to get out of whack balancing work and the rest of your life as there are people on the planet. Loving what you do for ‘work’ doesn’t automatically make you immune to imbalance. On the contrary, I think it sometimes makes you more susceptible.
I don’t think Tim’s wife, at least on the evening mentioned in his post, thinks he’s got the balance figured out anymore than my kids did last night when at 9:30pm I was still absorbed in a new site I am building…lost in the bliss of “ooohh..I wonder if I can make it do this…oooh, I can!…then, I wonder if I can make it do that…oooh, yes, I can…so does that mean I can make it do this, too?…OMG…yes, I can!…” I finally stepped away from the computer at 10, and that completed a 12hr stretch of design bliss.
Granted, not every day is like that for me. Not even most are…but enough are. My 16y/o cooks dinner more often than I do (like…a LOT more often!) And no, that won’t kill him, and yes, it’s good that he’ll go out into the world knowing how to cook…but it’s kinda not the point.
Of course, this example may not be the best one to use, because I abhor cooking dinner with a vengeance. I’d do a whole lot of things I don’t love to do to get out of daily chef duty.
Maybe I stress too much because now that I work at home, I get wrapped up in the illusion that my kids should get ‘more’ of me than they did when I was in the corporate world. Where’s the logic in that? I traded doing one job – granted, away from home and for extended hours each day – for doing ALL jobs related to my business.
I will say this: It’s a whole dang lot easier to keep track of them and be where they need me to be when I’m my own boss. And often, they’ve lamented that their mom is ‘all up in their business all the time’ because I’m not stuck somewhere downtown at an office all day long. Other times, and especially here lately, I think I’d be a whole lot less stressed if I didn’t have such a front row seat to what they’re up to.
So if I’m still working a lot of hours, what’s changed about the balance in my life? Am I still out of whack?
It’s all relative. My kids think it’s just fine if I spend 24 hours a day on the computer, unless and until they want something. Then I work too much. What they’re really wanting to is to dictate even more of my schedule than they already do. If it were my attention they were craving, I wouldn’t get turned down for movie nights or family outings as much as I do because they’ve got ‘other plans’.
Even as I write that, I realize that what’s really different today (as opposed to the corporate days) is that when I’m not ‘working’, I’m not in a bad mood. Used to be, I’d come home all jacked up about stuff at work and it took more than the drive home to decompress. The mommy time they got back then was polluted, if you will, with leftover work garbage.
Another thing that’s really different today is the quality of my life. It’s gone way up. WAY up. It’s filled with far less of the stuff I don’t want in my life and far more of the stuff I do.
For me, the work/life balancing act was made exponentially easier when I engaged in work I love versus the kind that made me want to stick needles in my eyes. But it’s still a balancing act.
But then, isn’t every aspect of life a dance in and around a proverbial sweet spot?
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6 Responses to “Work/Life Balance – It’s All Relative”
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January 19th, 2010 12:35 pm
"But then, isn’t every aspect of life a dance in and around a proverbial sweet spot?"
I totally agree with this. and "I"m dancing as fast as I can" is the modus operandi in my life. I've been working for myself for 37 years. that means that my last job–at someone else's location was when I was 20 yrs old. I am always doing time and energy management, getting things done, responding to customers, taking care of my basic needs (exercise, food, sleep) and trying to remember to schedule some fun/social activities. Mostly however,I am aware that I'm managing my attitude about it all. This week I've decided that I can do no wrong. It feels pretty good so far and I'll see how it goes in terms of productivity and general satisfaction. That's my "work/life balance" right now.
February 5th, 2010 10:57 pm
well i'm totally agree
my friend said success have a pattern, i'm totally realized when i can become successful person.
in my life if what i do in my job "easily" make money and i love my job, i'm 100% in success pattern.
February 15th, 2010 10:20 pm
“Loving what you do for ‘work’ doesn’t automatically make you immune to imbalance”
yeah Im agree..there are bad things that still can be happened & steer me in the wrong way of mood
March 3rd, 2010 10:47 pm
work and life balance ? what a vicious circle
May 18th, 2010 1:18 pm
“Loving what you do for ‘work’ doesn’t automatically make you immune to imbalance”
What is bad is when you don’t love what you do and you have imbalance. Much worse in my opinion. Not that I hate what I do for a living, but I do hate where I have to do it and how I have to do it. Been trying to find a way out for years, but never find that window open, when I am free to jump through it. I, like you, think its important to keep a home, transportation, and other neccesities for my family. I have found nothing so far that would fulfill my life’s authentic calling that would at the same time keep those neccesities afloat.
June 9th, 2010 10:42 am
In my experience even if you don’t really enjoy your job like some lucky people, as long as when you get home you can switch off and concentrate on what’s important to you (e.g. family, friends, hobbies), then that is the main thing. Getting home and stressing about work until the following morning? That’s a sign to change jobs!